Your Petty Isn't Pretty, Sis.


She came to me broken. 
She'd been making the same excuse for years and it had finally caught up with her.  "This is just who I am" was no longer working in her life.  Her boss had called her into the office with a write-up about her emotional outburst on the job in front of clients.  Her boyfriend of several years wanted a break from their relationship and she couldn't understand why, even after revealing he had warned her that he was tiring of her continual outbursts for no reason.  As I began to peel back the onion it helped me to understand her mindset.

Her favorite shows all featured women being catty with each other. 
Her closest female friends all acted like the women in the shows she watched.  Some were in relationships where someone was cheating and others were settling with a cheater.  They talked about each other behind their backs and it became very difficult for her to avoid joining in; soon, she as talking about everyone and being a confidante to the drama on all sides.  Over time, she had become an active participant in the drama that surrounded her without even knowing.  Her mood went from happy to irritated.  When I probed her on where he unhappiness really lied, she had no clue.  She couldn't tell me why she was unhappy.

Petty is popular.
I can pull up dozens of memes about being petty.  Prior to petty being popular, I was the Queen of Petty.  I was also miserable.  I was a habitual over-reactor.   Every single thing made me 100 times more angry than the average person.  I took everything personal.  Looking back I'm surprised I was able to be that way for so long.  It was a very sad life to live.  I had a really close friend that I envied so much I told her one day along with saying how much I despised her life.  Our friendship ended that day.  I blamed her when it was really me.

You are what you watch.
Pettiness has taken over television and social media.  This we know.   It's a sad reality that misery still very much loves company and so many people are taking a seat with it.  There are plenty of people who watch these shows and leave the drama on television and an even bigger group of people who watch and then emulate the same drama in their real lives.   What are you watching and how is it affecting you?  Do you find yourself in unnecessary drama and turmoil in your personal life?  Be honest with yourself.

You are who you hang around.
People ask me if it's hard to not be petty and hang around petty people.  The short answer is yes; it's difficult because as you change your mindset, you'll fall out of love with listening to the gossip, you'll get bored with hearing misery and you'll want to no longer be in their company.  There are people who have also mastered the art of being around the same people and not participating in the gossip and judging ways of their friends.  It takes a very strong person to do this.

Your children are watching.
Especially those teenagers.  They are watching and emulating your actions with their friends, in their social settings, and at school away from you.  How are you teaching your teens to act?