Toxic Is As Toxic Does

Okay, I'll admit it - I used to go OFF on people.
Come on, don't act like you've never had a moment where you wanted to be the better person, but, you reacted to a situation in a negative manner.   I can remember being pushed to the limit and reacting in a less than favorable manner to the person who pushed my button.  At the time, I didn't know that I had control over the buttons that people were pushing.  I just figured that if someone said or did something that caused me to feel disrespected, I had to defend myself. 

Someone is reading this and saying to themselves, "I've never done that!"
If you've never been in such a situation, just keep going to sleep and waking up.  I guarantee that you will have moments in your life where you will say or do something you regret.  The good news, is that you will do better as you learn.  The bad news, is that there are so many hurting people in the World, you are bound to run into a few.  One thing I have learned over the last several years of working with others and myself, is that I am in control of my buttons.  Hurting people feed off of the negative reactions they get while spewing negativity, and your best line of defense is to not react, at all.  Did you know that no reaction is indeed a reaction? 

We always want to have the last word, don't we?
What makes us get to a point where we know someone is hurting, so we want to hurt them back?  I have a friend who told me once, "If you knew someone was mentally ill, you would treat them like they were mentally ill."  This is so true.  We don't always know why people lash out, but we do know that there is a level of being toxic that exudes out of the pores of people.  We pretend we don't feel this energy when push come to shove, and this person says something we do not like.  We want to say what's on our mind, and get it off of our chest like the other person. 

God wants us to be quiet sometimes. 
There's always a reason to practice taming your tongue.  There's always a reason to pray for someone who is bringing you toxic energy.  I have lost friends and personal relationships from being toxic.  It wasn't until I was on the other side of the table that I got a chance to see what a toxic Dawn looked like.  Words are truly a powerful thing. They give us the power to heal and the power to hurt, and the power to build up and the power to tear down.

Controlling what we say from moment to moment is perhaps the most daunting challenge of Christian living.
This is the one challenge people who want to live a fruitful life. but who also want to resolve issues.  I do not like confrontation, and at the same time, I don't like to leave situations that I want to work on, stagnant.  It can sometimes put you in a tough predicament, but it's a great challenge to overcome.  You avoid the angry outbursts, cutting remarks, and unguarded responses that lead only to damage, embarrassment, and regret.

And what kind of new habits of speech should replace the old?
Words of encouragement, words that bring life to others and to self, words that do not cause dis-ease in others.    If the last words you feel the need to utter are not bringing life to someone, do all parties involved a favor - don't speak.  As fast as you can praise God, is as fast as you can lead someone away from God, just by not taming your tongue.  Think about it.

Storytime # 1 - That One Time He Wanted To Kill His Wife!

Well, you know my transparency will either make you laugh, or, make you cry laughing.  Today's story is no different.  One day, I met this guy at the Sherman Oaks 24 Hour Fitness, and, well... Watch for yourself!

Lay down your fear / pick up your faith

I have been enjoying this much needed vacation from social media.   I've had a lot of time to read, write, and I am excited and at the same time in awe of God's presence in my life.   In the midst of this change, God sent me a friend that most people would die to have; a compassionate, affectionate, and honest person who loves me unconditionally despite my flaws and continues to amaze me on a daily basis.

I have battled storms as many of you have over the last few months, and one of the things that I always do is teach you while I am being taught. This blog goes out to my friend who has / continues to teach me what it's like to be Christ-like.

The pain and frustration of learning that which God yearns to teach us can sometimes be overbearing, but to survive life you must be a warrior and adopt a stronger demeanor than the average person.

• What are YOU going through that you CAN'T talk to anyone about?
• What dreams have YOU ALLOWED to become DEFERRED in place of fear, doubt, and worry?
• What is YOUR MOTIVATION?

Below are 3 Things You Must Know About God and Your Breakthrough...

ADVERSITY IS GOD'S WAY OF GIVING YOU GUIDANCE AND INSTRUCTION. 
I remember when I was losing weight and I really wanted to push myself to the limit. I had never been bungee jumping before but had always wanted to go. I consider myself to be daring, and the idea that I would be jumping off a bridge was too tempting to refuse. The hike was the most challenging part of the whole trip. Though I had been hiking in the Santa Monica Mountains for weeks, I was not prepared to depend on my balancing act on a fallen tree and a rope to get me across the swift current that had me afraid of being carried away. I can recall zoning out and all of my thoughts went to crossing safely while still having fun. All of a sudden, I became "G.I. Self-Esteem Queen"and crossed right on over with no problem! I WAS BEYOND EXCITED! God showed me that once I took the fear off crossing and put my thoughts on the fun I was having, it became a joyous experience for me.

DELAY IS NOT DENIAL.
I have learned that what God does for others He more than desires to do for you. When I'm longing for Him to be closer to me, He's longing for me to be closer to Him. That feels so good! I stood there on the podium afraid that since I was close to the last person jumping that the cords somehow had gotten tired and would definitely give out on me - THE WRONG THOUGHTS TO BE HAVING BEFORE JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE! I stood there and thought about all the choices I made and how they affected my life. I thought about how God always came through in the nick of time when I would have to smile in public and cry in private at things I went through in my personal life. Delay is not denial when the goal is to learn by example even if the example is you learning from yourself. I looked down, smiled at God for allowing me to see just how much fun everyone before me had, and I jumped the heck off that bridge!

FAITH REQUIRES YOU TO TRUST BEYOND THAT WHICH YOU CAN UNDERSTAND. 
Sometimes when you're in the midst of your trials you want to give up and throw in the towel. It's difficult to deal with broken hearts, unpaid bills, uncertainty about job security, and surviving in a city where innocent people are gunned down at random. At my lowest point, I was reminded of the following from a dear friend; I have been here in this exact place before at some point in my life, so this place is not foreign to me (and should not be foreign to you either). This is the time to put on the armor my friends. The enemy we call bitterness, rage, guilt, frustration, setbacks, hold-ups, and things of that nature are outside waiting for you to come from your retreat. You, therefore, MUST remember what Ephesians 6:11-13 says,

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the
devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against
the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on
the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to
stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Today is the day to return to that hobby, activity, or goal setting that had you fired up for life long ago. I'm not afraid of failing, I'm afraid of not trying my hardest to achieve my goals. I am always inspired by those who I see around me reach their goals and beyond. I stand before you encouraged for your future, and humbly accept my lessons so that my future can be bright and full of wisdom.

I love you, and there's absolutely, positively, nothin' you can do about it!!!

SEQ

Who are you really "doing the work" for?

Matthew 6:1 (NIV)

This scripture was heavy on my mind this morning during meditation. 

I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about this very thing.  I see so many people who get online and post pictures of every single thing they do to help others.  In my line of business, that's just not possible to do.    Healing work isn't for show, and it isn't for testimonials to gain more clients.  You see, when you're helping someone through molestation, abandonment issues, or getting over being gang-raped, you just don't broadcast these healing moments online for people to praise you.

Well, I don't, but I'm always bothered by people who do.

When I gave my life to Christ, I made a decision to follow in His direction the best I could.  There are some things I don't mind talking about, like an overall event or an organization or community I spoke for that touched me, but some conversations and emails are just not for public consumption. 

Others are doing the work, then, jumping online and posting pictures of themselves "recovering" after "the work".  As a healer, that also is something I don't do.  I don't talk about the seizures I have (unless it's after the fact), the battles I fight on behalf of myself and others, the pain I take on in order to heal someone else by giving them my positive energy in exchange for the opposite...

Who are you really doing the work for? 

Why are you helping others? 

Is it to brag and boast in front of others, or, are you telling a story to the people who care to "follow" you?  Are you subconsciously looking for validation from man?  Are you looking for praise from man?  I've noticed some things, and those things led me to shut down my social media accounts.  I don't want to see it, because I know people have their own reasons for doing things like this & I don't want to judge the actions.  It still disturbs me, so I choose not to look at it.

Specifically, I'm speaking of people who are "healers".    If you have to exploit someone's private and personal life to get praise, a new client, or validation, or if you have to exploit yourself in order to get people to pray for you, I want you to stop and look at the acts, and consider holding in all the things you experience on a daily if it has to include those you heal.

After you think about it, you'll thank me later.

Some Will, Some Won't and So What?!

I thank The Creator for Anthony Goulet every single day.  You see, it's so important to have friends who understand you, believe in you, and support you as you travel the World, honing in on your purpose while deterring your mind from the naysayers.

Someone needs to know today, that the detours are SO necessary for the trip to your final destination.  There isn't a successful person today who will tell you different.  Successful people will tell you that not everyone listened to their dreams with sincere interest, and they might tell you that they got most of the negative feedback from those closest to them. 

Stop telling everyone what you plan to do, and just do it.   One of your biggest assets (whether you know it or not) is the ability to keep your mouth shut.  Telling people who aren't really happy or supportive of you your dreams could be putting you in danger.  What if I told you that some people are really praying for your downfall, and by you telling them your dreams, you're helping them to pray for specifics?

One of my marketing mentors told me, "Some will, some won't and so what?"  That changed my life, literally.  I hadn't yet discovered The Four Agreements, and at the time I was taking everything people said and did to me, personally.   I wasn't angry at the World, I was simply angry at the people who dared to contradict my thoughts of greatness that I had for myself.  

I had to learn that not everyone is privy to my life details.  Sure, there will be people you let slip through the cracks, but start asking God for CLARITY and DISCERNMENT.  Start asking God to take people who are "fake happy" for you out of your life.  Start asking God to clear your mind, and allow you to discern who needs to know what in your life.

Some people are going to love and support you.

Some people are going to follow you to see you fail, and will sometimes want to stand by your side watching in real time.

Some people will support you, and you might never meet them.

Some people you've never met will become family.

Some family you've known your whole life will despise your drive and tenacity.

Some colleagues will blaspheme your name out of fear you reach more people.

Some people will compete with you when you didn't even enter the rat-race.

Some people will stay past their season in your life.

Some people will exit without a goodbye.

Some people will praise you in your face, and blast you to others in private.

Some people will send subliminal messages online, and swear it wasn't aimed at you.  You know different.

Some WILL.

Some WON'T

SO WHAT.

You are here on this Earth to LOVE, to SERVE, and to REMEMBER.

You are not here to look for validation from others.  My life has changed since I dropped all of my social networking.  All of a sudden, my mind is flooded with my own thoughts, not the thoughts of what I see on Fakebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc...  I was so distracted that I got jaded.   I watched people argue online, bully others online, then, post about God the same day.  It was too much for me.  I'm not perfect, but I don't like to watch people make a fool of themselves online.  I don't like to see family members air out their issues online instead of picking up a phone and calling their, "loves ones".  I need human interaction to survive.  I don't want to correspond with people online, via email, or text.  I thrive off of human interaction, and at the same time, I am limited to the number of people I can interact with on a daily basis.  I have to make the people who are important count, and the ones who aren't can't have any airtime in my brain.  I understand that I have to be free from needless banter and social clutter.  Just because it's popular doesn't mean that I have to be doing it.

Please take some time today to consider letting go of people who don't serve you; that is, people who aren't genuinely happy for you, supportive of your dreams, and active in cheer-leading you along from the sidelines.  You'll thank me for it later!