Well, you know my transparency will either make you laugh, or, make you cry laughing. Today's story is no different. One day, I met this guy at the Sherman Oaks 24 Hour Fitness, and, well... Watch for yourself!
My name is Dawn. I used to be a self-mutilater. You know me as the self-esteem queen. Every single day, I have to re-earn that title. I also teach people how they can reach their own levels of being self-esteem queens and self-esteem kings.
There's too much smoke, and lots of mirrors. No one talks about the real issues anymore. No one is looking to help others anymore; it's all about building a "brand" that looks good and altruistic, but is really set up under false motives. Healing others while going through things yourself is not a branding technique, and yes, even us, 'healers" have things we are healing from which is why we take the time to help others through their pain.
On a bad day, my legs used to take a beating. I was in a very abusive relationship - with myself. There are no career heights, no amounts of money earned, and no amount of "followers", that can ever mute the voices of depression. They come in the deadest of silence, and they make sure that no one is there to interrupt them from freely speaking.
Those of us who are able to maneuver around the voices of depression have stories to tell. One day, I will tell my story.
Today, I just want to remind those of you out there who have those voices that tell you you're not worthy, you're not enough, you're not ever going to get past where you are now.... Please, continue to prove them wrong. I know it's a daily, and sometimes moment to moment battle, but I want you sincerely to come out on the living end.
I do understand. Sometimes, when the voices get too loud, I used to cut. Now, I pray.