She came to me broken.
She'd been making the same excuse for years and it had finally caught up with her. "This is just who I am" was no longer working in her life. Her boss had called her into the office with a write-up about her
I DON'T LIVE IN A WORLD OF MAKE BELIEVE.
Sometimes, I get tired.
I help several (over 20) people per month, and take in their energy, while giving out my own. I'm looking for a better way to serve more people, but for now, it's all me, all the time. Not complaining, just explaining. I'm also a full-time mother of twins, so I spend the bulk of my not-so-free time with them, teaching them colors and numbers and alphabets. At some point, I lost balance. In the midst of taking on the issues of others, something happened that rocked me - I found out one of my clients had been lying to me the whole time we worked together. I felt like a bad coach; all of the milestones I thought we had reached together were all lies. I think that was my breaking point.
WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND, ARE THE PEOPLE YOU'RE SUPPORTING, SUPPORTING YOU?
At this same time, in my personal life, I found that I was giving too much of me out to some people who were giving me nothing but negativity. When you have a giving spirit, you want to help everyone, and even I tell people that's impossible yet, here I am trying to do just that. What are you looking for in your relationships? Are you looking for loyal friends, people who are going to check on your in a consistent manner, or are you looking for someone who is distant but still there when you need them? When you are giving and not receiving, either the other person doesn't know, or they don't care.
Don't lie to yourself - only you know which is truly is.
I ALSO REALIZED THAT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF MY PASSION - WRITING.
I love to write, but had not made time for that in my schedule. No matter how good my time management was, I didn't budget this in. While I'm helping others live their passion, I'm not living my own. I know things have to change, and now, I'm working with like-minded people to make these changes. I've gotten more personal work done in the last two days than I have in the last month, all because I have an awesome friend who sits on Skype with me and challenges me to move forward. We don't do, "stagnant".
DO THE WORK, NO ONE CAN DENY THE WORK.
I love being around people who are similar to me. These are people I don't have to tell how to be around me, because they know how to be around me. I love that I don't have to deal with inconsistencies, and when I allow people who are pulling me down into my life, I'm grateful I have the gift of discernment to know when to back up or walk away. I am back to doing my internal work, because I know that my life's purpose is to serve others and in order to serve others, I have to get back to serving myself.
More to come. Have a great weekend.
I have been enjoying this much needed vacation from social media. I've had a lot of time to read, write, and I am excited and at the same time in awe of God's presence in my life. In the midst of this change, God sent me a friend that most people would die to have; a compassionate, affectionate, and honest person who loves me unconditionally despite my flaws and continues to amaze me on a daily basis.
I have battled storms as many of you have over the last few months, and one of the things that I always do is teach you while I am being taught. This blog goes out to my friend who has / continues to teach me what it's like to be Christ-like.
The pain and frustration of learning that which God yearns to teach us can sometimes be overbearing, but to survive life you must be a warrior and adopt a stronger demeanor than the average person.
- What are YOU going through that you CAN'T talk to anyone about?
- What dreams have YOU ALLOWED to become DEFERRED in place of fear, doubt, and worry?
- What is YOUR MOTIVATION?
Below are 3 Things You Must Know About God and Your Breakthrough...
ADVERSITY IS GOD'S WAY OF GIVING YOU GUIDANCE AND INSTRUCTION.
I remember when I was losing weight and I really wanted to push myself to the limit. I had never been bungee jumping before but had always wanted to go. I consider myself to be daring, and the idea that I would be jumping off a bridge was too tempting to refuse. The hike was the most challenging part of the whole trip. Though I had been hiking in the Santa Monica Mountains for weeks, I was not prepared to depend on my balancing act on a fallen tree and a rope to get me across the swift current that had me afraid of being carried away. I can recall zoning out and all of my thoughts went to crossing safely while still having fun. All of a sudden, I became "G.I. Self-Esteem Queen"and crossed right on over with no problem! I WAS BEYOND EXCITED! God showed me that once I took the fear off crossing and put my thoughts on the fun I was having, it became a joyous experience for me.
DELAY IS NOT DENIAL.
I have learned that what God does for others He more than desires to do for you. When I'm longing for Him to be closer to me, He's longing for me to be closer to Him. That feels so good! I stood there on the podium afraid that since I was close to the last person jumping that the cords somehow had gotten tired and would definitely give out on me - THE WRONG THOUGHTS TO BE HAVING BEFORE JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE! I stood there and thought about all the choices I made and how they affected my life. I thought about how God always came through in the nick of time when I would have to smile in public and cry in private at things I went through in my personal life. Delay is not denial when the goal is to learn by example even if the example is you learning from yourself. I looked down, smiled at God for allowing me to see just how much fun everyone before me had, and I jumped the heck off that bridge!
FAITH REQUIRES YOU TO TRUST BEYOND THAT WHICH YOU CAN UNDERSTAND.
Sometimes when you're in the midst of your trials you want to give up and throw in the towel. It's difficult to deal with broken hearts, unpaid bills, uncertainty about job security, and surviving in a city where innocent people are gunned down at random. At my lowest point, I was reminded of the following from a dear friend; I have been here in this exact place before at some point in my life, so this place is not foreign to me (and should not be foreign to you either). This is the time to put on the armor my friends. The enemy we call bitterness, rage, guilt, frustration, setbacks, hold-ups, and things of that nature are outside waiting for you to come from your retreat. You, therefore, MUST remember what Ephesians 6:11-13 says,
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the
devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against
the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on
the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to
stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Today is the day to return to that hobby, activity, or goal setting that had you fired up for life long ago. I'm not afraid of failing, I'm afraid of not trying my hardest to achieve my goals. I am always inspired by those who I see around me reach their goals and beyond. I stand before you encouraged for your future, and humbly accept my lessons so that my future can be bright and full of wisdom.
I love you, and there's absolutely, positively, nothin' you can do about it!!!
A lot of you were taught to believe that being INSIDE of a church brings you closer to God, but, what if you go to church and spend you time gossiping, judging how others are dressed, or lusting after someone in your congregation.
A lot of you were taught to pray without ceasing, to know those few choice scriptures that will keep you grounded, and to keep your Bible opened to Psalm 23 for protection but, what happens when you live in the flesh instead of the spirit, over and over again when you know that leads you down a destructive path?
Most don't know I studied theology for several years, and while I was born a Christian, I am a practicing Buddhist. I spend my mornings meditating and for the most part, I live a very peaceful life. There aren't a lot of people in my private space, and even being a busy entrepreneur and a full-time mother, I still make time to center my mind every single day.
There is no work-eat-sleep-repeat in my life. I find that when I become mundane to the things around me, I get stuck in the same rut I ran from.
Case-and-point: I am obsessed with having a clean house. Even with kids, I take a lot of time out to make sure that I'm cleaning as I go. While it takes more time, the adverse is me allowing it to build up, and then getting anxiety at having to clean it all up. That old habit of living around people who were functioning pack-rats is always in the forefront of my mind. I practice gratitude of my growth by keeping my space clean, and clear.
Case-and-point: I'm helping a long lost friend I used to be in love with get over a death. There are moments when the conversation has the potential to lead us down memory lane, but, I remember the past, and how bad it made me feel, and I then continue to help with love, from afar, so I don't get caught up in the past drama. I've trained my mind to always go back to the focus of the reason I'm helping; to make sure this person can grieve as healthy as possible.
If you've not already written down the habits that prohibit you from spending time with yourself, I encourage you to do that today. Then, write down what you SHOULD be doing in that space, and do this on a small 3x5 card which you can pull out at anytime as a reminder.
A lot of you are tired of repeating the things you thought you took out of your life. It starts with consistent good days, and you can start that today! :)
You've been looking at the attacks on your life, and the attacks on those you love, and you've been crying out to The Creator to relieve you from the experiences that seem to come, one after another. It hurts you to be vilified, hurt, lied on, lied to, humiliated, embarrassed, under-appreciated, and over-worked. You've wondered if your relationships will stand the tests, if your friendships are genuine, and if you're being a good parent, friend, daughter, or son.
I'm here to tell you that if you're being attacked, you are also being protected.
This whole weekend I was under attack. One thing after another. This traditionally happens when I'm about to have a breakthrough somewhere in my life. The closer I get to my breakthrough, the more attacks come to me, without invitation, and without my permission. I had a brief cry, and had to get over the pain associated with the attacks. I'm reminded of my favorite scripture 2 Corinthians 12:7-10-
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)
The tests come at the height of your blessings, and God is there, letting you now that all is well. It's at these moments you lean to the understanding that you don't understand. I'm weak most of the time. In this weakness, my power is restored, and I rely on The Creator to guide me down a path I can't see all the way down.
All is well. If you're under attack, the breakthrough is coming, and you're on the right path. Be patient, and rely on The Creator. Spend less time online, and spend more time being grateful that there is light, and relief, on the other side of the rainbow.
Matthew 6:1 (NIV)
This scripture was heavy on my mind this morning during meditation.
I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about this very thing. I see so many people who get online and post pictures of every single thing they do to help others. In my line of business, that's just not possible to do. Healing work isn't for show, and it isn't for testimonials to gain more clients. You see, when you're helping someone through molestation, abandonment issues, or getting over being gang-raped, you just don't broadcast these healing moments online for people to praise you.
Well, I don't, but I'm always bothered by people who do.
When I gave my life to Christ, I made a decision to follow in His direction the best I could. There are some things I don't mind talking about, like an overall event or an organization or community I spoke for that touched me, but some conversations and emails are just not for public consumption.
Others are doing the work, then, jumping online and posting pictures of themselves "recovering" after "the work". As a healer, that also is something I don't do. I don't talk about the seizures I have (unless it's after the fact), the battles I fight on behalf of myself and others, the pain I take on in order to heal someone else by giving them my positive energy in exchange for the opposite...
Who are you really doing the work for?
Why are you helping others?
Is it to brag and boast in front of others, or, are you telling a story to the people who care to "follow" you? Are you subconsciously looking for validation from man? Are you looking for praise from man? I've noticed some things, and those things led me to shut down my social media accounts. I don't want to see it, because I know people have their own reasons for doing things like this & I don't want to judge the actions. It still disturbs me, so I choose not to look at it.
Specifically, I'm speaking of people who are "healers". If you have to exploit someone's private and personal life to get praise, a new client, or validation, or if you have to exploit yourself in order to get people to pray for you, I want you to stop and look at the acts, and consider holding in all the things you experience on a daily if it has to include those you heal.
After you think about it, you'll thank me later.
This video is a throwback but so worth the watch!
I am so grateful that seasons change. During this time, people come while others depart from me, and I am always grateful for the lessons I learn, and hopefully teach, to those around me.
There comes a day when you have to do what you're passionate about. Social networking has been real and it's been fun, but for me, it hasn't been "real fun". I know that the tide is turning, and people are starting to go back to seeking authentic friendships and associations.
There are so many people online who appear to have a lot in common with you, until you really get to know them and realize you've been swindled, your time has been wasted, and you've been used. I decided to do something about taking my time back.
The truth is...
Social media can be a gift, when you associate with like-minded people.
While we don't know the reason some people get online, we hope that the people we befriend are like-minded.
I've discovered that my fellow humans are jaded at the truth. I've discovered that a lot of people would rather talk about mundane, non-important issues, because it's comfortable.
Not everyone is looking to, "Be The Change." Not everyone has empathy for your cause, and today, I need you to know that your audience may not be online.
Sometimes, I see that my fellow cultural creatives , and they are tired, and weary. I see my fellow comrades unhappy that no one is willing to stand up for their cause as they are.
HEAR ME WELL: Stop getting mad at people for being who they are. We are not all the same. Some people would rather talk about light issues online instead of issues of poverty, slavery, and corruption. To get mad at someone for not being on the same level as you, or being upset because you want to be supported and the people who follow you don't support you, is, in my opinion, very petty.
Nobody has to support you.
Nobody has to pat you on the back.
Nobody has to stand up and fight the cause that keeps you up at night.
While I would be the first to support another person, I understand that others are not like me, and, it's okay. You would do yourself, and those around you, a favor by lowering your expectations of others' actions.
So, you would say, "Why are you so negative about this?"
I would answer, "I allow people to be who they are and, when I cannot change the people around me, I simply CHANGE the people around me. This is the reason I eliminate people from my circle every single quarter." It's not personal when I eliminate people, and, I don't take it personal when people no longer find me an asset in their lives.
LAST WORDS: The moment you begin to "vent" online about your lack of support, don't be surprised when people are turned off, and stop supporting you altogether.
This message was written with love.
I need to let you know, that in the moment of pain, it's easy to vent to others because it feels good to get the pain off of your chest. I need you to know, however, that once you let someone else in on your pain, you must then work to protect your feelings should that person one day get upset with you, and vent all about your venting.
It seems easy enough to pray to The Creator, but why then, are there an abundance of people who choose to vent to another human?
Each time I've vented to someone, I've almost immediately regretted it. Spreading your pain to others only transfers the pain to more people, and it also transfers your business. Can we take a moment to be very careful who we vent to?
Some of you are venting to a friend, about a mutual friend, then you're upset when the person you vented to runs back and vents your venting.
Some of you are venting on the job, about a boss, and then you're upset when you're workplace gets even more uncomfortable because someone vented your vent.
Some of you are venting about your spouse, then, you're upset when someone else swoops in to "save" him/her because your venting comes off as your not wanting to make the relationship work.
Babe, not everyone has your best interest at heart. Some people are only patting your back to find a nice spot to place the knife they plan on sticking you with.
Do not be afraid, as you are being attacked, for this and that.
Spiritual warfare is real, and it's about time we had a discussion about what it really looks like. Perhaps then, you will stop hurting people who are merely conduits, used by the enemy to attack you.
When you go to church, does the minister, preacher, pastor, elder, or bishop really talk to you about the warfare? Does he/she tell you that the attacks will come
- in the form of battles
- people trying to test your boundaries
- fake friends who talk about you behind your back but smile in your face
- family members who will pray for your downfall
- early and unexpected deaths
- liars who steal from your, lie on your, and swear on a pack of bibles they are "real
As an ordained minister, I continue to face these attacks, and there have been moments when I allowed it to take a toll on my temple. The impact of taking on the pain of others is hard, but then, to face attacks in the midst of helping people is a feeling only one who experiences it can understand. As a servant leader, I must be the example for others. There are moments when, I'm less than a leader. Some moments, I cower over and cry like a baby. I am drained in these moments at how jaded people are, at how unaware people are of their energies and how those energies affect others.
Out of the realm of suffering comes your biggest prize - realism.
My constant request of The Creator is clarity and discernment. When I find that someone is being used to attack me, and they are unaware, I step away, acknowledge the attack, and forgive the person being used to attack me. Are you forgiving your attacker, or, are you taking the attacks personal?
How many 'Job' moments have you experienced where you cursed The Creator for the pain you inflict? How many times have you asked for growth, then, got angry when that growth included being ostracized, misunderstood, prejudged, talked about, lied on, stolen from, beat up, spit on, yelled at, cursed out, and abandoned?
You cannot control who the enemy will use to attack you, yet, you get angry when someone attacks you. Please think about it this way - energies travel from person to person. If you are in alignment, you can feel the energy of another without saying a word. If we understand that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy families, friends, love, joy, happiness, and tranquility, then we understand that the person DOING it to us is only being USED by the enemy, and therefore, we should not be angry at them for being too weak to resist the enemy. Perhaps, for them, they are being used in a moment of weakness. Perhaps, they are unaware they are even serving a purpose on this Earth.
BUT you know, and so you, you are responsible for the forgiveness, you are responsible for the energy YOU bring, and YOU, and you alone, are responsible for how you react to spiritual warfare.
When you are in the midst of your bliss, celebrating life and The Creator, know that the enemy is watching, and plotting on your happiness. Babe, count that ALL joy - the enemy only conducts war on those who are serving The Creator.