Desensitized From Reality

Social media can be a gift, when you associate with like-minded people.

While we don't know the reason some people get online,  we hope that the people we befriend are like-minded. 

I've discovered that my fellow humans are jaded at the truth.  I've discovered that a lot of people would rather talk about mundane, non-important issues, because it's comfortable. 

Not everyone is looking to, "Be The Change."  Not everyone has empathy for your cause, and today, I need you to know that your audience may not be online.

Sometimes, I see that my fellow cultural creatives , and they are tired, and weary.   I see my fellow comrades unhappy that no one is willing to stand up for their cause as they are. 

HEAR ME WELL: Stop getting mad at people for being who they are.  We are not all the same.  Some people would rather talk about light issues online instead of issues of poverty, slavery, and corruption.  To get mad at someone for not being on the same level as you, or being upset because you want to be supported and the people who follow you don't support you, is, in my opinion, very petty.

Nobody has to support you. 
Nobody has to pat you on the back. 
Nobody has to stand up and fight the cause that keeps you up at night.

While I would be the first to support another person, I understand that others are not like me, and, it's okay.  You would do yourself, and those around you, a favor by lowering your expectations of others' actions.

So, you would say, "Why are you so negative about this?" 
I would answer, "I allow people to be who they are and, when I cannot change the people around me, I simply CHANGE the people around me.  This is the reason I eliminate people from my circle every single quarter."  It's not personal when I eliminate people, and, I don't take it personal when people no longer find me an asset in their lives. 

LAST WORDS: The moment you begin to "vent" online about your lack of support, don't be surprised when people are turned off, and stop supporting you altogether. 

This message was written with love.

XOXO

Stop venting to everyone

I need to let you know, that in the moment of pain, it's easy to vent to others because it feels good to get the pain off of your chest.  I need you to know, however, that once you let someone else in on your pain, you must then work to protect your feelings should that person one day get upset with you, and vent all about your venting.

It seems easy enough to pray to The Creator, but why then, are there an abundance of people who choose to vent to another human?

Each time I've vented to someone, I've almost immediately regretted it.   Spreading your pain to others only transfers the pain to more people, and it also transfers your business.  Can we take a moment to be very careful who we vent to?

Some of you are venting to a friend, about a mutual friend, then you're upset when the person you vented to runs back and vents your venting.

Some of you are venting on the job, about a boss, and then you're upset when you're workplace gets even more uncomfortable because someone vented your vent.

Some of you are venting about your spouse, then, you're upset when someone else swoops in to "save" him/her because your venting comes off as your not wanting to make the relationship work.

Babe, not everyone has your best interest at heart.  Some people are only patting your back to find a nice spot to place the knife they plan on sticking you with.

Spritual Warfare is Real

Do not be afraid, as you are being attacked, for this and that.
Spiritual warfare is real, and it's about time we had a discussion about what it really looks like.  Perhaps then, you will stop hurting people who are merely conduits, used by the enemy to attack you.

When you go to church, does the minister, preacher, pastor, elder, or bishop really talk to you about the warfare?  Does he/she tell you that the attacks will come

• in the form of battles
• people trying to test your boundaries
• fake friends who talk about you behind your back but smile in your face
• family members who will pray for your downfall
• early and unexpected deaths
• liars who steal from your, lie on your, and swear on a pack of bibles they are "real

As an ordained minister, I continue to face these attacks, and there have been moments when I allowed it to take a toll on my temple.  The impact of taking on the pain of others is hard, but then, to face attacks in the midst of helping people is a feeling only one who experiences it can understand.  As a servant leader, I must be the example for others.  There are moments when, I'm less than a leader.  Some moments, I cower over and cry like a baby.  I am drained in these moments at how jaded people are, at how unaware people are of their energies and how those energies affect others.

Out of the realm of suffering comes your biggest prize - realism. 

My constant request of The Creator is clarity and discernment.  When I find that someone is being used to attack me, and they are unaware, I step away, acknowledge the attack, and forgive the person being used to attack me.  Are you forgiving your attacker, or, are you taking the attacks personal?

How many 'Job' moments have you experienced where you cursed The Creator for the pain you inflict?  How many times have you asked for growth, then, got angry when that growth included being ostracized, misunderstood, prejudged, talked about, lied on, stolen from, beat up, spit on, yelled at, cursed out, and abandoned?

You cannot control who the enemy will use to attack you, yet, you get angry when someone attacks you.  Please think about it this way -  energies travel from person to person.  If you are in alignment, you can feel the energy of another without saying a word.  If we understand that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy families, friends, love, joy, happiness, and tranquility, then we understand that the person DOING it to us is only being USED by the enemy, and therefore, we should not be angry at them for being too weak to resist the enemy.  Perhaps, for them, they are being used in a moment of weakness.  Perhaps, they are unaware they are even serving a purpose on this Earth.

BUT you know, and so you, you are responsible for the forgiveness, you are responsible for the energy YOU bring, and YOU, and you alone, are responsible for how you react to spiritual warfare.

When you are in the midst of your bliss, celebrating life and The Creator, know that the enemy is watching, and plotting on your happiness.  Babe, count that ALL joy - the enemy only conducts war on those who are serving The Creator.

Until tomorrow,

XOXO
 

When it Hurts so Bad

You want everyone to understand you, and your feelings are valid.

I must tell you though; there will be someone who won't understand you, so they will bash you, instead.

I am a very sensitive person.  Words hurt me, and I'm the first to be open with this part of my reality.  It's no surprise then, that when a season ends, I find myself feeling bad for all the goodbyes I must say in order to be me.

When it hurts so bad... When it hurts so bad... Why does it feel so good? (Lauryn Hill)

Stop entering painful situations when you know the pain will come...even if it's "eventually".

Please allow yourself some time to heal.  YOUR life depends on this.

Death is imminent in the heart of a person who continues to love on dead things, whatever those dead things may be.

• Dead marriage
• Dead friendship
• Dead relationship
• Dead partnership
• Dead-end job
• Dead-end time investment

I was told once, "If you're not growing, you're dying?"

When it hurts so bad...

When it hurts so bad, you feel the need to retaliate, you feel the need to "get back at 'em" BUT babe, you're only beating up yourself, and your self growth.

You've been listening to way too many lyrics that have lied to you.  Pain isn't love, and when it hurts so bad, you're supposed to LET IT GO.

XOXO

Only the strong survive

There's one thing that my friends and I always say to each other; "We don't break."

We endure all,
We overcome all,
We may cry,
We may be sad,
But,

WE
DON'T
BREAK.

But I see so many broken people, unable to cope with life's trials, unable to deal with the stresses of life... 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm bent all the way out of shape. 

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed at the energy I have to give out in order to help others get well.

Only the strong survive.

You need a strong mind.  Not the kind that can be swayed.  Not the kind that can be finessed by a slithering tongue.  Not the kind that, when depression strikes, allows you to sink deep.  You need a mind that it focused on your purpose, focused on your well being, and focused on loving YOU.

You need a strong spiritual life.  Not the kind where the only time you think about or talk to God is when you're posting something online.  Not the kind where you go to church because it's another place to gather socially. You need a strong desire to be healthy.  Not because it's popular, but, because you want to live your BEST life.  A strong desire to not put toxins in your mouth, your mind, your eyes, your body, and your ears.

Have you checked for kinks in your armor of God?  You know this is a battle. 
The enemy has been attacking you since you got here - and if you're not checking your armor, the enemy will slide right through.  Can you cut a tomato with a dull knife?  NO.  Why then, would you think that if you're not maintaining your armor that you would be safe?

Babe, every time you fall to your knees and pray, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you speak the truth in the midst of lies, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you fill your mind with positive thoughts, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you refuse to gossip with "them", you're building your armor.

Don't stop now. 

You don't always have to win

Be thankful for the lessons in the losses.

Oh yes, they certainly DO exist.

"I've been married 3-4 times"

"I helped him/her, and they left me when they made it"

"That was supposed to be my job"

No matter how it all plays out, some losses are the biggest blessings around.

Some people won't know what to say when you cry and moan about your losses.

Some people will distance themselves because they don't want to be involved in your losses.

If you're not careful, you won't give yourself enough credit for the way you persevered through the losses.

When I think of all my wins, I can truly say that the best wins came after a number of losses.

And trust me, I've lost a lot in order to gain.  There were a lot of people, places, and things that I had an attachment to, and those things hurt to let go of.

I learned a lot from detaching from people, places, and things.

I learned that I was addicted to winning in front of others.  I knew this because I wanted people to see me win, but, not see me lose.

But, I lost, and, it was painful.  Tears were involved.  So were mixed emotions, uncertainty, and fear.

So was surrender.

That surrender came with a breakthrough.

Be thankful for the wins, and be grateful for the losses.

Ase

XOXO

Healing yourself to heal others

You are so strong in front of everyone.

You help so many people.

Why is it, then, that when you're alone, you keep crying out to God because of the pain you choose not to address?

Babe, you can't heal anyone until you make the choice to heal yourself.

You're not doing a good job faking it, and you aren't doing a good job making me believe it.

All of the wonderful advice I hear you giving people, but you've not given that same advice to yourself.

Why are you in so much pain?

Let's go ahead and take it back to the basics.

YOU must STOP helping others if you aren't willing to help yourself, FIRST.

Ase

Let them come and go

Whoever "they" are, let them roam freely, without your words of contempt.

Just as you are making changes to your life in order to best suit you, "they" are doing the same.

It's okay.  Allow the reason and season to be as it is.

Let them come and go.

Let them find the best for them. 

Are "they" emotions?

Do "they" consume you, and make you feel like you're less than others?

Let those emotions come and go.

Are you doing your best each day?

Are you allowing emotions, and others, to come and go?

Free yourself from the need to hold on.

There are never enough reasons that someone can give you when they are ready to leave.

There are never enough answers you can give another when you are ready to leave.

You can learn how to manage your emotions, and pick the ones best suited for you.

What are you holding onto?

Until tomorrow.

XOXO

Noble Silence

Do not be afraid of the voices.

They are guiding you through the noise coming from here and coming from there.

Do not be afraid to sit still and wait.

Waiting is the ultimate sacrifice for if you believe that you are here for a purpose but are unsure how to get there, silence will give you the answers.

We are used to getting the answers from others.

If we have a problem, we reach out to get the comfort of words from someone who rarely gives us the answers we already have within.

They give us words to fill the empty space we won't allow the answers silence brings to fill it up.

Please be quiet.

Allow silence to answer your questions.

Learn to calm your mind so that you can re-learn how to hear your own thoughts.

Meditation isn't a scary thing.

It's you spending time with you, encompassed by The Creator who has always been there to give you the answer.

If only we could block out the outside noise so that we could really hear what we need to hear.

There is such a sweetness about being silent.

XOXO