Associate with like-minded individuals at all times

I DON'T LIVE IN A WORLD OF MAKE BELIEVE.

Sometimes, I get tired.
I help several (over 20) people per month, and take in their energy, while giving out my own.  I'm looking for a better way to serve more people, but for now, it's all me, all the time.  Not complaining, just explaining.  I'm also a full-time mother of twins, so I spend the bulk of my not-so-free time with them, teaching them colors and numbers and alphabets.  At some point, I lost balance.  In the midst of taking on the issues of others, something happened that rocked me - I found out one of my clients had been lying to me the whole time we worked together.  I felt like a bad coach; all of the milestones I thought we had reached together were all lies.  I think that was my breaking point.

WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND, ARE THE PEOPLE YOU'RE SUPPORTING, SUPPORTING YOU?

At this same time, in my personal life, I found that I was giving too much of me out to some people who were giving me nothing but negativity.  When you have a giving spirit, you want to help everyone, and even I tell people that's impossible yet, here I am trying to do just that.  What are you looking for in your relationships?  Are you looking for loyal friends, people who are going to check on your in a consistent manner, or are you looking for someone who is distant but still there when you need them?  When you are giving and not receiving, either the other person doesn't know, or they don't care. 
Don't lie to yourself - only you know which is truly is.

I ALSO REALIZED THAT I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF MY PASSION - WRITING.

I love to write, but had not made time for that in my schedule.  No matter how good my time management was, I didn't budget this in.  While I'm helping others live their passion, I'm not living my own.  I know things have to change, and now, I'm working with like-minded people to make these changes.  I've gotten more personal work done in the last two days than I have in the last month, all because I have an awesome friend who sits on Skype with me and challenges me to move forward.  We don't do, "stagnant".

DO THE WORK,  NO ONE CAN DENY THE WORK.

I love being around people who are similar to me.  These are people I don't have to tell how to be around me, because they know how to be around me.  I love that I don't have to deal with inconsistencies, and when I allow people who are pulling me down into my life, I'm grateful I have the gift of discernment to know when to back up or walk away.  I am back to doing my internal work, because I know that my life's purpose is to serve others and in order to serve others, I have to get back to serving myself.

More to come.  Have a great weekend.

XOXO

SEQ

Lay down your fear / pick up your faith

I have been enjoying this much needed vacation from social media.   I've had a lot of time to read, write, and I am excited and at the same time in awe of God's presence in my life.   In the midst of this change, God sent me a friend that most people would die to have; a compassionate, affectionate, and honest person who loves me unconditionally despite my flaws and continues to amaze me on a daily basis.

I have battled storms as many of you have over the last few months, and one of the things that I always do is teach you while I am being taught. This blog goes out to my friend who has / continues to teach me what it's like to be Christ-like.

The pain and frustration of learning that which God yearns to teach us can sometimes be overbearing, but to survive life you must be a warrior and adopt a stronger demeanor than the average person.

• What are YOU going through that you CAN'T talk to anyone about?
• What dreams have YOU ALLOWED to become DEFERRED in place of fear, doubt, and worry?
• What is YOUR MOTIVATION?

Below are 3 Things You Must Know About God and Your Breakthrough...

ADVERSITY IS GOD'S WAY OF GIVING YOU GUIDANCE AND INSTRUCTION. 
I remember when I was losing weight and I really wanted to push myself to the limit. I had never been bungee jumping before but had always wanted to go. I consider myself to be daring, and the idea that I would be jumping off a bridge was too tempting to refuse. The hike was the most challenging part of the whole trip. Though I had been hiking in the Santa Monica Mountains for weeks, I was not prepared to depend on my balancing act on a fallen tree and a rope to get me across the swift current that had me afraid of being carried away. I can recall zoning out and all of my thoughts went to crossing safely while still having fun. All of a sudden, I became "G.I. Self-Esteem Queen"and crossed right on over with no problem! I WAS BEYOND EXCITED! God showed me that once I took the fear off crossing and put my thoughts on the fun I was having, it became a joyous experience for me.

DELAY IS NOT DENIAL.
I have learned that what God does for others He more than desires to do for you. When I'm longing for Him to be closer to me, He's longing for me to be closer to Him. That feels so good! I stood there on the podium afraid that since I was close to the last person jumping that the cords somehow had gotten tired and would definitely give out on me - THE WRONG THOUGHTS TO BE HAVING BEFORE JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE! I stood there and thought about all the choices I made and how they affected my life. I thought about how God always came through in the nick of time when I would have to smile in public and cry in private at things I went through in my personal life. Delay is not denial when the goal is to learn by example even if the example is you learning from yourself. I looked down, smiled at God for allowing me to see just how much fun everyone before me had, and I jumped the heck off that bridge!

FAITH REQUIRES YOU TO TRUST BEYOND THAT WHICH YOU CAN UNDERSTAND. 
Sometimes when you're in the midst of your trials you want to give up and throw in the towel. It's difficult to deal with broken hearts, unpaid bills, uncertainty about job security, and surviving in a city where innocent people are gunned down at random. At my lowest point, I was reminded of the following from a dear friend; I have been here in this exact place before at some point in my life, so this place is not foreign to me (and should not be foreign to you either). This is the time to put on the armor my friends. The enemy we call bitterness, rage, guilt, frustration, setbacks, hold-ups, and things of that nature are outside waiting for you to come from your retreat. You, therefore, MUST remember what Ephesians 6:11-13 says,

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the
devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against
the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on
the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to
stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Today is the day to return to that hobby, activity, or goal setting that had you fired up for life long ago. I'm not afraid of failing, I'm afraid of not trying my hardest to achieve my goals. I am always inspired by those who I see around me reach their goals and beyond. I stand before you encouraged for your future, and humbly accept my lessons so that my future can be bright and full of wisdom.

I love you, and there's absolutely, positively, nothin' you can do about it!!!

SEQ

Some Will, Some Won't and So What?!

I thank The Creator for Anthony Goulet every single day.  You see, it's so important to have friends who understand you, believe in you, and support you as you travel the World, honing in on your purpose while deterring your mind from the naysayers.

Someone needs to know today, that the detours are SO necessary for the trip to your final destination.  There isn't a successful person today who will tell you different.  Successful people will tell you that not everyone listened to their dreams with sincere interest, and they might tell you that they got most of the negative feedback from those closest to them. 

Stop telling everyone what you plan to do, and just do it.   One of your biggest assets (whether you know it or not) is the ability to keep your mouth shut.  Telling people who aren't really happy or supportive of you your dreams could be putting you in danger.  What if I told you that some people are really praying for your downfall, and by you telling them your dreams, you're helping them to pray for specifics?

One of my marketing mentors told me, "Some will, some won't and so what?"  That changed my life, literally.  I hadn't yet discovered The Four Agreements, and at the time I was taking everything people said and did to me, personally.   I wasn't angry at the World, I was simply angry at the people who dared to contradict my thoughts of greatness that I had for myself.  

I had to learn that not everyone is privy to my life details.  Sure, there will be people you let slip through the cracks, but start asking God for CLARITY and DISCERNMENT.  Start asking God to take people who are "fake happy" for you out of your life.  Start asking God to clear your mind, and allow you to discern who needs to know what in your life.

Some people are going to love and support you.

Some people are going to follow you to see you fail, and will sometimes want to stand by your side watching in real time.

Some people will support you, and you might never meet them.

Some people you've never met will become family.

Some family you've known your whole life will despise your drive and tenacity.

Some colleagues will blaspheme your name out of fear you reach more people.

Some people will compete with you when you didn't even enter the rat-race.

Some people will stay past their season in your life.

Some people will exit without a goodbye.

Some people will praise you in your face, and blast you to others in private.

Some people will send subliminal messages online, and swear it wasn't aimed at you.  You know different.

Some WILL.

Some WON'T

SO WHAT.

You are here on this Earth to LOVE, to SERVE, and to REMEMBER.

You are not here to look for validation from others.  My life has changed since I dropped all of my social networking.  All of a sudden, my mind is flooded with my own thoughts, not the thoughts of what I see on Fakebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc...  I was so distracted that I got jaded.   I watched people argue online, bully others online, then, post about God the same day.  It was too much for me.  I'm not perfect, but I don't like to watch people make a fool of themselves online.  I don't like to see family members air out their issues online instead of picking up a phone and calling their, "loves ones".  I need human interaction to survive.  I don't want to correspond with people online, via email, or text.  I thrive off of human interaction, and at the same time, I am limited to the number of people I can interact with on a daily basis.  I have to make the people who are important count, and the ones who aren't can't have any airtime in my brain.  I understand that I have to be free from needless banter and social clutter.  Just because it's popular doesn't mean that I have to be doing it.

Please take some time today to consider letting go of people who don't serve you; that is, people who aren't genuinely happy for you, supportive of your dreams, and active in cheer-leading you along from the sidelines.  You'll thank me for it later!

And the truth is...

This video is a throwback but so worth the watch!  

I am so grateful that seasons change.  During this time, people come while others depart from me, and I am always grateful for the lessons I learn, and hopefully teach, to those around me.

There comes a day when you have to do what you're passionate about.  Social networking has been real and it's been fun, but for me, it hasn't been "real fun".  I know that the tide is turning, and people are starting to go back to seeking authentic friendships and associations. 

There are so many people online who appear to have a lot in common with you, until you really get to know them and realize you've been swindled, your time has been wasted, and you've been used.  I decided to do something about taking my time back. 

The truth is...

Desensitized From Reality

Social media can be a gift, when you associate with like-minded people.

While we don't know the reason some people get online,  we hope that the people we befriend are like-minded. 

I've discovered that my fellow humans are jaded at the truth.  I've discovered that a lot of people would rather talk about mundane, non-important issues, because it's comfortable. 

Not everyone is looking to, "Be The Change."  Not everyone has empathy for your cause, and today, I need you to know that your audience may not be online.

Sometimes, I see that my fellow cultural creatives , and they are tired, and weary.   I see my fellow comrades unhappy that no one is willing to stand up for their cause as they are. 

HEAR ME WELL: Stop getting mad at people for being who they are.  We are not all the same.  Some people would rather talk about light issues online instead of issues of poverty, slavery, and corruption.  To get mad at someone for not being on the same level as you, or being upset because you want to be supported and the people who follow you don't support you, is, in my opinion, very petty.

Nobody has to support you. 
Nobody has to pat you on the back. 
Nobody has to stand up and fight the cause that keeps you up at night.

While I would be the first to support another person, I understand that others are not like me, and, it's okay.  You would do yourself, and those around you, a favor by lowering your expectations of others' actions.

So, you would say, "Why are you so negative about this?" 
I would answer, "I allow people to be who they are and, when I cannot change the people around me, I simply CHANGE the people around me.  This is the reason I eliminate people from my circle every single quarter."  It's not personal when I eliminate people, and, I don't take it personal when people no longer find me an asset in their lives. 

LAST WORDS: The moment you begin to "vent" online about your lack of support, don't be surprised when people are turned off, and stop supporting you altogether. 

This message was written with love.

XOXO

Stop venting to everyone

I need to let you know, that in the moment of pain, it's easy to vent to others because it feels good to get the pain off of your chest.  I need you to know, however, that once you let someone else in on your pain, you must then work to protect your feelings should that person one day get upset with you, and vent all about your venting.

It seems easy enough to pray to The Creator, but why then, are there an abundance of people who choose to vent to another human?

Each time I've vented to someone, I've almost immediately regretted it.   Spreading your pain to others only transfers the pain to more people, and it also transfers your business.  Can we take a moment to be very careful who we vent to?

Some of you are venting to a friend, about a mutual friend, then you're upset when the person you vented to runs back and vents your venting.

Some of you are venting on the job, about a boss, and then you're upset when you're workplace gets even more uncomfortable because someone vented your vent.

Some of you are venting about your spouse, then, you're upset when someone else swoops in to "save" him/her because your venting comes off as your not wanting to make the relationship work.

Babe, not everyone has your best interest at heart.  Some people are only patting your back to find a nice spot to place the knife they plan on sticking you with.

Spritual Warfare is Real

Do not be afraid, as you are being attacked, for this and that.
Spiritual warfare is real, and it's about time we had a discussion about what it really looks like.  Perhaps then, you will stop hurting people who are merely conduits, used by the enemy to attack you.

When you go to church, does the minister, preacher, pastor, elder, or bishop really talk to you about the warfare?  Does he/she tell you that the attacks will come

• in the form of battles
• people trying to test your boundaries
• fake friends who talk about you behind your back but smile in your face
• family members who will pray for your downfall
• early and unexpected deaths
• liars who steal from your, lie on your, and swear on a pack of bibles they are "real

As an ordained minister, I continue to face these attacks, and there have been moments when I allowed it to take a toll on my temple.  The impact of taking on the pain of others is hard, but then, to face attacks in the midst of helping people is a feeling only one who experiences it can understand.  As a servant leader, I must be the example for others.  There are moments when, I'm less than a leader.  Some moments, I cower over and cry like a baby.  I am drained in these moments at how jaded people are, at how unaware people are of their energies and how those energies affect others.

Out of the realm of suffering comes your biggest prize - realism. 

My constant request of The Creator is clarity and discernment.  When I find that someone is being used to attack me, and they are unaware, I step away, acknowledge the attack, and forgive the person being used to attack me.  Are you forgiving your attacker, or, are you taking the attacks personal?

How many 'Job' moments have you experienced where you cursed The Creator for the pain you inflict?  How many times have you asked for growth, then, got angry when that growth included being ostracized, misunderstood, prejudged, talked about, lied on, stolen from, beat up, spit on, yelled at, cursed out, and abandoned?

You cannot control who the enemy will use to attack you, yet, you get angry when someone attacks you.  Please think about it this way -  energies travel from person to person.  If you are in alignment, you can feel the energy of another without saying a word.  If we understand that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy families, friends, love, joy, happiness, and tranquility, then we understand that the person DOING it to us is only being USED by the enemy, and therefore, we should not be angry at them for being too weak to resist the enemy.  Perhaps, for them, they are being used in a moment of weakness.  Perhaps, they are unaware they are even serving a purpose on this Earth.

BUT you know, and so you, you are responsible for the forgiveness, you are responsible for the energy YOU bring, and YOU, and you alone, are responsible for how you react to spiritual warfare.

When you are in the midst of your bliss, celebrating life and The Creator, know that the enemy is watching, and plotting on your happiness.  Babe, count that ALL joy - the enemy only conducts war on those who are serving The Creator.

Until tomorrow,

XOXO
 

When it Hurts so Bad

You want everyone to understand you, and your feelings are valid.

I must tell you though; there will be someone who won't understand you, so they will bash you, instead.

I am a very sensitive person.  Words hurt me, and I'm the first to be open with this part of my reality.  It's no surprise then, that when a season ends, I find myself feeling bad for all the goodbyes I must say in order to be me.

When it hurts so bad... When it hurts so bad... Why does it feel so good? (Lauryn Hill)

Stop entering painful situations when you know the pain will come...even if it's "eventually".

Please allow yourself some time to heal.  YOUR life depends on this.

Death is imminent in the heart of a person who continues to love on dead things, whatever those dead things may be.

• Dead marriage
• Dead friendship
• Dead relationship
• Dead partnership
• Dead-end job
• Dead-end time investment

I was told once, "If you're not growing, you're dying?"

When it hurts so bad...

When it hurts so bad, you feel the need to retaliate, you feel the need to "get back at 'em" BUT babe, you're only beating up yourself, and your self growth.

You've been listening to way too many lyrics that have lied to you.  Pain isn't love, and when it hurts so bad, you're supposed to LET IT GO.

XOXO

Only the strong survive

There's one thing that my friends and I always say to each other; "We don't break."

We endure all,
We overcome all,
We may cry,
We may be sad,
But,

WE
DON'T
BREAK.

But I see so many broken people, unable to cope with life's trials, unable to deal with the stresses of life... 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm bent all the way out of shape. 

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed at the energy I have to give out in order to help others get well.

Only the strong survive.

You need a strong mind.  Not the kind that can be swayed.  Not the kind that can be finessed by a slithering tongue.  Not the kind that, when depression strikes, allows you to sink deep.  You need a mind that it focused on your purpose, focused on your well being, and focused on loving YOU.

You need a strong spiritual life.  Not the kind where the only time you think about or talk to God is when you're posting something online.  Not the kind where you go to church because it's another place to gather socially. You need a strong desire to be healthy.  Not because it's popular, but, because you want to live your BEST life.  A strong desire to not put toxins in your mouth, your mind, your eyes, your body, and your ears.

Have you checked for kinks in your armor of God?  You know this is a battle. 
The enemy has been attacking you since you got here - and if you're not checking your armor, the enemy will slide right through.  Can you cut a tomato with a dull knife?  NO.  Why then, would you think that if you're not maintaining your armor that you would be safe?

Babe, every time you fall to your knees and pray, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you speak the truth in the midst of lies, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you fill your mind with positive thoughts, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you refuse to gossip with "them", you're building your armor.

Don't stop now. 

You don't always have to win

Be thankful for the lessons in the losses.

Oh yes, they certainly DO exist.

"I've been married 3-4 times"

"I helped him/her, and they left me when they made it"

"That was supposed to be my job"

No matter how it all plays out, some losses are the biggest blessings around.

Some people won't know what to say when you cry and moan about your losses.

Some people will distance themselves because they don't want to be involved in your losses.

If you're not careful, you won't give yourself enough credit for the way you persevered through the losses.

When I think of all my wins, I can truly say that the best wins came after a number of losses.

And trust me, I've lost a lot in order to gain.  There were a lot of people, places, and things that I had an attachment to, and those things hurt to let go of.

I learned a lot from detaching from people, places, and things.

I learned that I was addicted to winning in front of others.  I knew this because I wanted people to see me win, but, not see me lose.

But, I lost, and, it was painful.  Tears were involved.  So were mixed emotions, uncertainty, and fear.

So was surrender.

That surrender came with a breakthrough.

Be thankful for the wins, and be grateful for the losses.

Ase

XOXO