If you're reading this, you don't need a feel-good chaser or fluff words; you've read enough of those and we are done placating. TRUTH: If you have a fear that you've not overcome you most certainly have been procrastinating on the milestones needed to overcome the fear. Don't start beating yours...
Okay, I'll admit it - I used to go OFF on people.
Come on, don't act like you've never had a moment where you wanted to be the better person, but, you reacted to a situation in a negative manner. I can remember being pushed to the limit and reacting in a less than favorable manner to the person who pushed my button. At the time, I didn't know that I had control over the buttons that people were pushing. I just figured that if someone said or did something that caused me to feel disrespected, I had to defend myself.
Someone is reading this and saying to themselves, "I've never done that!"
If you've never been in such a situation, just keep going to sleep and waking up. I guarantee that you will have moments in your life where you will say or do something you regret. The good news, is that you will do better as you learn. The bad news, is that there are so many hurting people in the World, you are bound to run into a few. One thing I have learned over the last several years of working with others and myself, is that I am in control of my buttons. Hurting people feed off of the negative reactions they get while spewing negativity, and your best line of defense is to not react, at all. Did you know that no reaction is indeed a reaction?
We always want to have the last word, don't we?
What makes us get to a point where we know someone is hurting, so we want to hurt them back? I have a friend who told me once, "If you knew someone was mentally ill, you would treat them like they were mentally ill." This is so true. We don't always know why people lash out, but we do know that there is a level of being toxic that exudes out of the pores of people. We pretend we don't feel this energy when push come to shove, and this person says something we do not like. We want to say what's on our mind, and get it off of our chest like the other person.
God wants us to be quiet sometimes.
There's always a reason to practice taming your tongue. There's always a reason to pray for someone who is bringing you toxic energy. I have lost friends and personal relationships from being toxic. It wasn't until I was on the other side of the table that I got a chance to see what a toxic Dawn looked like. Words are truly a powerful thing. They give us the power to heal and the power to hurt, and the power to build up and the power to tear down.
Controlling what we say from moment to moment is perhaps the most daunting challenge of Christian living.
This is the one challenge people who want to live a fruitful life. but who also want to resolve issues. I do not like confrontation, and at the same time, I don't like to leave situations that I want to work on, stagnant. It can sometimes put you in a tough predicament, but it's a great challenge to overcome. You avoid the angry outbursts, cutting remarks, and unguarded responses that lead only to damage, embarrassment, and regret.
And what kind of new habits of speech should replace the old?
Words of encouragement, words that bring life to others and to self, words that do not cause dis-ease in others. If the last words you feel the need to utter are not bringing life to someone, do all parties involved a favor - don't speak. As fast as you can praise God, is as fast as you can lead someone away from God, just by not taming your tongue. Think about it.
Well, you know my transparency will either make you laugh, or, make you cry laughing. Today's story is no different. One day, I met this guy at the Sherman Oaks 24 Hour Fitness, and, well... Watch for yourself!
Sometimes, I get tired.
I help several (over 20) people per month, and take in their energy, while giving out my own. I'm looking for a better way to serve more people, but for now, it's all me, all the time. Not complaining, just explaining. I'm also a full-time mother of twins, so I spend the bulk of my not-so-free time with them, teaching them colors and numbers and alphabets. At some point, I lost balance. In the midst of taking on the issues of others, something happened that rocked me - I found out one of my clients had been lying to me the whole time we worked together. I felt like a bad coach; all of the milestones I thought we had reached together were all lies. I think that was my breaking point.
At this same time, in my personal life, I found that I was giving too much of me out to some people who were giving me nothing but negativity. When you have a giving spirit, you want to help everyone, and even I tell people that's impossible yet, here I am trying to do just that. What are you looking for in your relationships? Are you looking for loyal friends, people who are going to check on your in a consistent manner, or are you looking for someone who is distant but still there when you need them? When you are giving and not receiving, either the other person doesn't know, or they don't care.
Don't lie to yourself - only you know which is truly is.
I love to write, but had not made time for that in my schedule. No matter how good my time management was, I didn't budget this in. While I'm helping others live their passion, I'm not living my own. I know things have to change, and now, I'm working with like-minded people to make these changes. I've gotten more personal work done in the last two days than I have in the last month, all because I have an awesome friend who sits on Skype with me and challenges me to move forward. We don't do, "stagnant".
I love being around people who are similar to me. These are people I don't have to tell how to be around me, because they know how to be around me. I love that I don't have to deal with inconsistencies, and when I allow people who are pulling me down into my life, I'm grateful I have the gift of discernment to know when to back up or walk away. I am back to doing my internal work, because I know that my life's purpose is to serve others and in order to serve others, I have to get back to serving myself.
More to come. Have a great weekend.
XOXO
SEQ
A lot of you were taught to believe that being INSIDE of a church brings you closer to God, but, what if you go to church and spend you time gossiping, judging how others are dressed, or lusting after someone in your congregation.
A lot of you were taught to pray without ceasing, to know those few choice scriptures that will keep you grounded, and to keep your Bible opened to Psalm 23 for protection but, what happens when you live in the flesh instead of the spirit, over and over again when you know that leads you down a destructive path?
Most don't know I studied theology for several years, and while I was born a Christian, I am a practicing Buddhist. I spend my mornings meditating and for the most part, I live a very peaceful life. There aren't a lot of people in my private space, and even being a busy entrepreneur and a full-time mother, I still make time to center my mind every single day.
There is no work-eat-sleep-repeat in my life. I find that when I become mundane to the things around me, I get stuck in the same rut I ran from.
Case-and-point: I am obsessed with having a clean house. Even with kids, I take a lot of time out to make sure that I'm cleaning as I go. While it takes more time, the adverse is me allowing it to build up, and then getting anxiety at having to clean it all up. That old habit of living around people who were functioning pack-rats is always in the forefront of my mind. I practice gratitude of my growth by keeping my space clean, and clear.
Case-and-point: I'm helping a long lost friend I used to be in love with get over a death. There are moments when the conversation has the potential to lead us down memory lane, but, I remember the past, and how bad it made me feel, and I then continue to help with love, from afar, so I don't get caught up in the past drama. I've trained my mind to always go back to the focus of the reason I'm helping; to make sure this person can grieve as healthy as possible.
If you've not already written down the habits that prohibit you from spending time with yourself, I encourage you to do that today. Then, write down what you SHOULD be doing in that space, and do this on a small 3x5 card which you can pull out at anytime as a reminder.
A lot of you are tired of repeating the things you thought you took out of your life. It starts with consistent good days, and you can start that today! :)
XOXO
SEQ
You've been looking at the attacks on your life, and the attacks on those you love, and you've been crying out to The Creator to relieve you from the experiences that seem to come, one after another. It hurts you to be vilified, hurt, lied on, lied to, humiliated, embarrassed, under-appreciated, and over-worked. You've wondered if your relationships will stand the tests, if your friendships are genuine, and if you're being a good parent, friend, daughter, or son.
I'm here to tell you that if you're being attacked, you are also being protected.
This whole weekend I was under attack. One thing after another. This traditionally happens when I'm about to have a breakthrough somewhere in my life. The closer I get to my breakthrough, the more attacks come to me, without invitation, and without my permission. I had a brief cry, and had to get over the pain associated with the attacks. I'm reminded of my favorite scripture 2 Corinthians 12:7-10-
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)
The tests come at the height of your blessings, and God is there, letting you now that all is well. It's at these moments you lean to the understanding that you don't understand. I'm weak most of the time. In this weakness, my power is restored, and I rely on The Creator to guide me down a path I can't see all the way down.
All is well. If you're under attack, the breakthrough is coming, and you're on the right path. Be patient, and rely on The Creator. Spend less time online, and spend more time being grateful that there is light, and relief, on the other side of the rainbow.
Matthew 6:1 (NIV)
This scripture was heavy on my mind this morning during meditation.
I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about this very thing. I see so many people who get online and post pictures of every single thing they do to help others. In my line of business, that's just not possible to do. Healing work isn't for show, and it isn't for testimonials to gain more clients. You see, when you're helping someone through molestation, abandonment issues, or getting over being gang-raped, you just don't broadcast these healing moments online for people to praise you.
Well, I don't, but I'm always bothered by people who do.
When I gave my life to Christ, I made a decision to follow in His direction the best I could. There are some things I don't mind talking about, like an overall event or an organization or community I spoke for that touched me, but some conversations and emails are just not for public consumption.
Others are doing the work, then, jumping online and posting pictures of themselves "recovering" after "the work". As a healer, that also is something I don't do. I don't talk about the seizures I have (unless it's after the fact), the battles I fight on behalf of myself and others, the pain I take on in order to heal someone else by giving them my positive energy in exchange for the opposite...
Who are you really doing the work for?
Why are you helping others?
Is it to brag and boast in front of others, or, are you telling a story to the people who care to "follow" you? Are you subconsciously looking for validation from man? Are you looking for praise from man? I've noticed some things, and those things led me to shut down my social media accounts. I don't want to see it, because I know people have their own reasons for doing things like this & I don't want to judge the actions. It still disturbs me, so I choose not to look at it.
Specifically, I'm speaking of people who are "healers". If you have to exploit someone's private and personal life to get praise, a new client, or validation, or if you have to exploit yourself in order to get people to pray for you, I want you to stop and look at the acts, and consider holding in all the things you experience on a daily if it has to include those you heal.
After you think about it, you'll thank me later.
I thank The Creator for Anthony Goulet every single day. You see, it's so important to have friends who understand you, believe in you, and support you as you travel the World, honing in on your purpose while deterring your mind from the naysayers.
Someone needs to know today, that the detours are SO necessary for the trip to your final destination. There isn't a successful person today who will tell you different. Successful people will tell you that not everyone listened to their dreams with sincere interest, and they might tell you that they got most of the negative feedback from those closest to them.
Stop telling everyone what you plan to do, and just do it. One of your biggest assets (whether you know it or not) is the ability to keep your mouth shut. Telling people who aren't really happy or supportive of you your dreams could be putting you in danger. What if I told you that some people are really praying for your downfall, and by you telling them your dreams, you're helping them to pray for specifics?
One of my marketing mentors told me, "Some will, some won't and so what?" That changed my life, literally. I hadn't yet discovered The Four Agreements, and at the time I was taking everything people said and did to me, personally. I wasn't angry at the World, I was simply angry at the people who dared to contradict my thoughts of greatness that I had for myself.
I had to learn that not everyone is privy to my life details. Sure, there will be people you let slip through the cracks, but start asking God for CLARITY and DISCERNMENT. Start asking God to take people who are "fake happy" for you out of your life. Start asking God to clear your mind, and allow you to discern who needs to know what in your life.
Some people are going to love and support you.
Some people are going to follow you to see you fail, and will sometimes want to stand by your side watching in real time.
Some people will support you, and you might never meet them.
Some people you've never met will become family.
Some family you've known your whole life will despise your drive and tenacity.
Some colleagues will blaspheme your name out of fear you reach more people.
Some people will compete with you when you didn't even enter the rat-race.
Some people will stay past their season in your life.
Some people will exit without a goodbye.
Some people will praise you in your face, and blast you to others in private.
Some people will send subliminal messages online, and swear it wasn't aimed at you. You know different.
Some WILL.
Some WON'T
SO WHAT.
You are here on this Earth to LOVE, to SERVE, and to REMEMBER.
You are not here to look for validation from others. My life has changed since I dropped all of my social networking. All of a sudden, my mind is flooded with my own thoughts, not the thoughts of what I see on Fakebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc... I was so distracted that I got jaded. I watched people argue online, bully others online, then, post about God the same day. It was too much for me. I'm not perfect, but I don't like to watch people make a fool of themselves online. I don't like to see family members air out their issues online instead of picking up a phone and calling their, "loves ones". I need human interaction to survive. I don't want to correspond with people online, via email, or text. I thrive off of human interaction, and at the same time, I am limited to the number of people I can interact with on a daily basis. I have to make the people who are important count, and the ones who aren't can't have any airtime in my brain. I understand that I have to be free from needless banter and social clutter. Just because it's popular doesn't mean that I have to be doing it.
Please take some time today to consider letting go of people who don't serve you; that is, people who aren't genuinely happy for you, supportive of your dreams, and active in cheer-leading you along from the sidelines. You'll thank me for it later!
Social media can be a gift, when you associate with like-minded people.
While we don't know the reason some people get online, we hope that the people we befriend are like-minded.
I've discovered that my fellow humans are jaded at the truth. I've discovered that a lot of people would rather talk about mundane, non-important issues, because it's comfortable.
Not everyone is looking to, "Be The Change." Not everyone has empathy for your cause, and today, I need you to know that your audience may not be online.
Sometimes, I see that my fellow cultural creatives , and they are tired, and weary. I see my fellow comrades unhappy that no one is willing to stand up for their cause as they are.
HEAR ME WELL: Stop getting mad at people for being who they are. We are not all the same. Some people would rather talk about light issues online instead of issues of poverty, slavery, and corruption. To get mad at someone for not being on the same level as you, or being upset because you want to be supported and the people who follow you don't support you, is, in my opinion, very petty.
Nobody has to support you.
Nobody has to pat you on the back.
Nobody has to stand up and fight the cause that keeps you up at night.
While I would be the first to support another person, I understand that others are not like me, and, it's okay. You would do yourself, and those around you, a favor by lowering your expectations of others' actions.
So, you would say, "Why are you so negative about this?"
I would answer, "I allow people to be who they are and, when I cannot change the people around me, I simply CHANGE the people around me. This is the reason I eliminate people from my circle every single quarter." It's not personal when I eliminate people, and, I don't take it personal when people no longer find me an asset in their lives.
LAST WORDS: The moment you begin to "vent" online about your lack of support, don't be surprised when people are turned off, and stop supporting you altogether.
This message was written with love.
XOXO
I need to let you know, that in the moment of pain, it's easy to vent to others because it feels good to get the pain off of your chest. I need you to know, however, that once you let someone else in on your pain, you must then work to protect your feelings should that person one day get upset with you, and vent all about your venting.
It seems easy enough to pray to The Creator, but why then, are there an abundance of people who choose to vent to another human?
Each time I've vented to someone, I've almost immediately regretted it. Spreading your pain to others only transfers the pain to more people, and it also transfers your business. Can we take a moment to be very careful who we vent to?
Some of you are venting to a friend, about a mutual friend, then you're upset when the person you vented to runs back and vents your venting.
Some of you are venting on the job, about a boss, and then you're upset when you're workplace gets even more uncomfortable because someone vented your vent.
Some of you are venting about your spouse, then, you're upset when someone else swoops in to "save" him/her because your venting comes off as your not wanting to make the relationship work.
Babe, not everyone has your best interest at heart. Some people are only patting your back to find a nice spot to place the knife they plan on sticking you with.
