I wanted to follow up my conversation last week on overcoming the fear of, "what if" and dig right into procrastination.
If you're reading this, you don't need a feel-good chaser or fluff words; you've read enough of those and we are done placating. TRUTH: If you have a fear that you've not overcome you most certainly have been procrastinating on the milestones needed to overcome the fear. Don't start beating yourself up - this is information you've been avoiding which is why you're reading this. You've been procrastinating on really working on you, and you've likely made every excuse imaginable to find something "better" to do in lieu of taking care of you. We need to embrace the idea that fear is linked to procrastination in a very large way. This means that when you conquer one, you are on your way to conquering the other. In my years of coaching clients, I have learned that beating yourself up mentally takes less energy than overcoming the fear and pushing through to your true happy place.
Fear is the mother of procrastination.
When I say fear is the mother of procrastination, I want you to understand that history will show we put off or procrastinate on things what we fear. You don't believe me? Here are two case & points:
- I know people who are in toxic marriages and relationships because they've procrastinated on setting boundaries for what they will and will not deal with. They stay out of fear of being alone, having to start over, and other excuses that aid and abet their procrastination but does nothing to promote the growth they desire
- I know people who dread going to work each day, hating their job or their coworkers or in general the work they do. They procrastinate and complain but take little to no action to find a position where they will be appreciated and treated with value. They fear the change of a new environment while dreading the one they are currently in.
Are you listening to the voices in your head?
Listening to the voices in your head will either propel you or keep you stagnant. What are the voices in your head telling you? What are you doing to combat the negative voices that you hear? I can tell you that I work to overcome fear often. My levels of success have reached peaks I never imagined and then my life at times has caused me to become inconsistent with my goals. It happens to us all. Those of us who conquer the fear seize the day each chance we get. Today I want to give you a few reminders that may come in handy at this time in your life. It's my hope that you take these reminders and use them daily.
Write it down and look at it often.
If you don't write it down and look at it every day, your subconscious will find other things to think about. Write it down, fold it up, put it in your pocket or pocketbook. Read it often, every day. Every day, read it often. Am I being clear?
Give yourself a time frame to mourn your losses.
I give myself 22 minutes and sometimes I might take a whole day. I am mindful of the energy I get from others and the energy I project out to those around me. I have learned that my losses are not at all losses but are more like ways to be humbled and educated by God. Sometimes it's a goodbye to someone I really wanted to be around and sometimes it's a goodbye to a situation that I thought would be beneficial to my greater God-purpose; either way, I say goodbye and take a moment to mourn the loss. Then, I move the *&% on. No, I move on.
When it is the most painful emotionally, take action.
It's in the moment when you can think of ALL the reasons not to move forward, that you need to discipline yourself like a trained athlete and push through the mental pain. That takes work on your mindset and working on your brain. What are you reading? Are your goals realistic? What's the best that can happen when you accomplish your goals? Do you think that deep; or, are you worried more about the next episode of Power?
Make it a habit to list your weekly accomplishments.
We have this mason jar and we put all of our grateful 3X5 and larger cards in there to look at in December to signify all of the blessings we may have forgotten. They call this a Gratitude Jar and everyone should have one in their home. Google Gratitude Jar or Gratitude Box and you will see what I'm talking about. Remind yourself that you are proud of yourself. Don't just leave it up to others to cheer you on. You have to remember - you are doing this for YOU, not for the praise from friends, colleagues, or family. That praise is nice, but it won't be consistent and you have to be alright with being your own cheerleader.
I hope this helps someone! Have a great weekend!
XOXO - Jayla The Self Esteem Queen