Who are you really "doing the work" for?

Matthew 6:1 (NIV)

This scripture was heavy on my mind this morning during meditation. 

I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about this very thing.  I see so many people who get online and post pictures of every single thing they do to help others.  In my line of business, that's just not possible to do.    Healing work isn't for show, and it isn't for testimonials to gain more clients.  You see, when you're helping someone through molestation, abandonment issues, or getting over being gang-raped, you just don't broadcast these healing moments online for people to praise you.

Well, I don't, but I'm always bothered by people who do.

When I gave my life to Christ, I made a decision to follow in His direction the best I could.  There are some things I don't mind talking about, like an overall event or an organization or community I spoke for that touched me, but some conversations and emails are just not for public consumption. 

Others are doing the work, then, jumping online and posting pictures of themselves "recovering" after "the work".  As a healer, that also is something I don't do.  I don't talk about the seizures I have (unless it's after the fact), the battles I fight on behalf of myself and others, the pain I take on in order to heal someone else by giving them my positive energy in exchange for the opposite...

Who are you really doing the work for? 

Why are you helping others? 

Is it to brag and boast in front of others, or, are you telling a story to the people who care to "follow" you?  Are you subconsciously looking for validation from man?  Are you looking for praise from man?  I've noticed some things, and those things led me to shut down my social media accounts.  I don't want to see it, because I know people have their own reasons for doing things like this & I don't want to judge the actions.  It still disturbs me, so I choose not to look at it.

Specifically, I'm speaking of people who are "healers".    If you have to exploit someone's private and personal life to get praise, a new client, or validation, or if you have to exploit yourself in order to get people to pray for you, I want you to stop and look at the acts, and consider holding in all the things you experience on a daily if it has to include those you heal.

After you think about it, you'll thank me later.

Some Will, Some Won't and So What?!

I thank The Creator for Anthony Goulet every single day.  You see, it's so important to have friends who understand you, believe in you, and support you as you travel the World, honing in on your purpose while deterring your mind from the naysayers.

Someone needs to know today, that the detours are SO necessary for the trip to your final destination.  There isn't a successful person today who will tell you different.  Successful people will tell you that not everyone listened to their dreams with sincere interest, and they might tell you that they got most of the negative feedback from those closest to them. 

Stop telling everyone what you plan to do, and just do it.   One of your biggest assets (whether you know it or not) is the ability to keep your mouth shut.  Telling people who aren't really happy or supportive of you your dreams could be putting you in danger.  What if I told you that some people are really praying for your downfall, and by you telling them your dreams, you're helping them to pray for specifics?

One of my marketing mentors told me, "Some will, some won't and so what?"  That changed my life, literally.  I hadn't yet discovered The Four Agreements, and at the time I was taking everything people said and did to me, personally.   I wasn't angry at the World, I was simply angry at the people who dared to contradict my thoughts of greatness that I had for myself.  

I had to learn that not everyone is privy to my life details.  Sure, there will be people you let slip through the cracks, but start asking God for CLARITY and DISCERNMENT.  Start asking God to take people who are "fake happy" for you out of your life.  Start asking God to clear your mind, and allow you to discern who needs to know what in your life.

Some people are going to love and support you.

Some people are going to follow you to see you fail, and will sometimes want to stand by your side watching in real time.

Some people will support you, and you might never meet them.

Some people you've never met will become family.

Some family you've known your whole life will despise your drive and tenacity.

Some colleagues will blaspheme your name out of fear you reach more people.

Some people will compete with you when you didn't even enter the rat-race.

Some people will stay past their season in your life.

Some people will exit without a goodbye.

Some people will praise you in your face, and blast you to others in private.

Some people will send subliminal messages online, and swear it wasn't aimed at you.  You know different.

Some WILL.

Some WON'T

SO WHAT.

You are here on this Earth to LOVE, to SERVE, and to REMEMBER.

You are not here to look for validation from others.  My life has changed since I dropped all of my social networking.  All of a sudden, my mind is flooded with my own thoughts, not the thoughts of what I see on Fakebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc...  I was so distracted that I got jaded.   I watched people argue online, bully others online, then, post about God the same day.  It was too much for me.  I'm not perfect, but I don't like to watch people make a fool of themselves online.  I don't like to see family members air out their issues online instead of picking up a phone and calling their, "loves ones".  I need human interaction to survive.  I don't want to correspond with people online, via email, or text.  I thrive off of human interaction, and at the same time, I am limited to the number of people I can interact with on a daily basis.  I have to make the people who are important count, and the ones who aren't can't have any airtime in my brain.  I understand that I have to be free from needless banter and social clutter.  Just because it's popular doesn't mean that I have to be doing it.

Please take some time today to consider letting go of people who don't serve you; that is, people who aren't genuinely happy for you, supportive of your dreams, and active in cheer-leading you along from the sidelines.  You'll thank me for it later!

And the truth is...

This video is a throwback but so worth the watch!  

I am so grateful that seasons change.  During this time, people come while others depart from me, and I am always grateful for the lessons I learn, and hopefully teach, to those around me.

There comes a day when you have to do what you're passionate about.  Social networking has been real and it's been fun, but for me, it hasn't been "real fun".  I know that the tide is turning, and people are starting to go back to seeking authentic friendships and associations. 

There are so many people online who appear to have a lot in common with you, until you really get to know them and realize you've been swindled, your time has been wasted, and you've been used.  I decided to do something about taking my time back. 

The truth is...

Desensitized From Reality

Social media can be a gift, when you associate with like-minded people.

While we don't know the reason some people get online,  we hope that the people we befriend are like-minded. 

I've discovered that my fellow humans are jaded at the truth.  I've discovered that a lot of people would rather talk about mundane, non-important issues, because it's comfortable. 

Not everyone is looking to, "Be The Change."  Not everyone has empathy for your cause, and today, I need you to know that your audience may not be online.

Sometimes, I see that my fellow cultural creatives , and they are tired, and weary.   I see my fellow comrades unhappy that no one is willing to stand up for their cause as they are. 

HEAR ME WELL: Stop getting mad at people for being who they are.  We are not all the same.  Some people would rather talk about light issues online instead of issues of poverty, slavery, and corruption.  To get mad at someone for not being on the same level as you, or being upset because you want to be supported and the people who follow you don't support you, is, in my opinion, very petty.

Nobody has to support you. 
Nobody has to pat you on the back. 
Nobody has to stand up and fight the cause that keeps you up at night.

While I would be the first to support another person, I understand that others are not like me, and, it's okay.  You would do yourself, and those around you, a favor by lowering your expectations of others' actions.

So, you would say, "Why are you so negative about this?" 
I would answer, "I allow people to be who they are and, when I cannot change the people around me, I simply CHANGE the people around me.  This is the reason I eliminate people from my circle every single quarter."  It's not personal when I eliminate people, and, I don't take it personal when people no longer find me an asset in their lives. 

LAST WORDS: The moment you begin to "vent" online about your lack of support, don't be surprised when people are turned off, and stop supporting you altogether. 

This message was written with love.

XOXO

Stop venting to everyone

I need to let you know, that in the moment of pain, it's easy to vent to others because it feels good to get the pain off of your chest.  I need you to know, however, that once you let someone else in on your pain, you must then work to protect your feelings should that person one day get upset with you, and vent all about your venting.

It seems easy enough to pray to The Creator, but why then, are there an abundance of people who choose to vent to another human?

Each time I've vented to someone, I've almost immediately regretted it.   Spreading your pain to others only transfers the pain to more people, and it also transfers your business.  Can we take a moment to be very careful who we vent to?

Some of you are venting to a friend, about a mutual friend, then you're upset when the person you vented to runs back and vents your venting.

Some of you are venting on the job, about a boss, and then you're upset when you're workplace gets even more uncomfortable because someone vented your vent.

Some of you are venting about your spouse, then, you're upset when someone else swoops in to "save" him/her because your venting comes off as your not wanting to make the relationship work.

Babe, not everyone has your best interest at heart.  Some people are only patting your back to find a nice spot to place the knife they plan on sticking you with.

Spritual Warfare is Real

Do not be afraid, as you are being attacked, for this and that.
Spiritual warfare is real, and it's about time we had a discussion about what it really looks like.  Perhaps then, you will stop hurting people who are merely conduits, used by the enemy to attack you.

When you go to church, does the minister, preacher, pastor, elder, or bishop really talk to you about the warfare?  Does he/she tell you that the attacks will come

• in the form of battles
• people trying to test your boundaries
• fake friends who talk about you behind your back but smile in your face
• family members who will pray for your downfall
• early and unexpected deaths
• liars who steal from your, lie on your, and swear on a pack of bibles they are "real

As an ordained minister, I continue to face these attacks, and there have been moments when I allowed it to take a toll on my temple.  The impact of taking on the pain of others is hard, but then, to face attacks in the midst of helping people is a feeling only one who experiences it can understand.  As a servant leader, I must be the example for others.  There are moments when, I'm less than a leader.  Some moments, I cower over and cry like a baby.  I am drained in these moments at how jaded people are, at how unaware people are of their energies and how those energies affect others.

Out of the realm of suffering comes your biggest prize - realism. 

My constant request of The Creator is clarity and discernment.  When I find that someone is being used to attack me, and they are unaware, I step away, acknowledge the attack, and forgive the person being used to attack me.  Are you forgiving your attacker, or, are you taking the attacks personal?

How many 'Job' moments have you experienced where you cursed The Creator for the pain you inflict?  How many times have you asked for growth, then, got angry when that growth included being ostracized, misunderstood, prejudged, talked about, lied on, stolen from, beat up, spit on, yelled at, cursed out, and abandoned?

You cannot control who the enemy will use to attack you, yet, you get angry when someone attacks you.  Please think about it this way -  energies travel from person to person.  If you are in alignment, you can feel the energy of another without saying a word.  If we understand that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy families, friends, love, joy, happiness, and tranquility, then we understand that the person DOING it to us is only being USED by the enemy, and therefore, we should not be angry at them for being too weak to resist the enemy.  Perhaps, for them, they are being used in a moment of weakness.  Perhaps, they are unaware they are even serving a purpose on this Earth.

BUT you know, and so you, you are responsible for the forgiveness, you are responsible for the energy YOU bring, and YOU, and you alone, are responsible for how you react to spiritual warfare.

When you are in the midst of your bliss, celebrating life and The Creator, know that the enemy is watching, and plotting on your happiness.  Babe, count that ALL joy - the enemy only conducts war on those who are serving The Creator.

Until tomorrow,

XOXO
 

Change Lives, Make a Difference

I may not always post pictures and video of the things I do, but it's more because I don't like to gloat or get egotistical, about working for God.

Being a Servant Leader isn't easy, but it sure is rewarding. You don't get the public praise, you don't get the standing ovations, you're not a rock star, designers don't send you their clothes to promote, and Pepsi isn't looking to endorse you.

But, lives are changed. The most important lives - our teens.

It's sometimes very difficult to be so transparent, to help teens by showing your vulnerable side (which is very uncomfortable), and hope that they take away the lesson instead of pre-judging you. When I'm in front of a group of teens, I give all I have to the point I'm exhausted. 
To be a part of something so monumental, so life changing is humbling.

Thanks to The All Ways Up Foundation for including me in your Up Through Education Summit the second year in a row.

It changed my life.

There's More to Life Than...

Competition. 

It's everywhere.  I see it amongst friends, activists, motivational speakers, business colleagues, and family members.  Some are so busy competing with another (who may not even know there's a race) that they don't have time to run their own race.

I used to be caught up in that rat-race back in 2007.  It became apparent, rather quickly, that the only person I've been competing with is my old self.  Perhaps that's why I don't put too much weight in social media, who follows me, or who likes me.

When did it become so important for you to prove your life to complete strangers for validation?  Your life's worth, caught up in "likes", "retweets", and "shares".  

Who are you trying to help - others or your ego?

There is room for everyone to be successful in their gift, even if others have the same gift.

One should ask themselves, if they cannot be happy for another genuinely, why are they in the business of helping others...

XOXO

When it Hurts so Bad

You want everyone to understand you, and your feelings are valid.

I must tell you though; there will be someone who won't understand you, so they will bash you, instead.

I am a very sensitive person.  Words hurt me, and I'm the first to be open with this part of my reality.  It's no surprise then, that when a season ends, I find myself feeling bad for all the goodbyes I must say in order to be me.

When it hurts so bad... When it hurts so bad... Why does it feel so good? (Lauryn Hill)

Stop entering painful situations when you know the pain will come...even if it's "eventually".

Please allow yourself some time to heal.  YOUR life depends on this.

Death is imminent in the heart of a person who continues to love on dead things, whatever those dead things may be.

• Dead marriage
• Dead friendship
• Dead relationship
• Dead partnership
• Dead-end job
• Dead-end time investment

I was told once, "If you're not growing, you're dying?"

When it hurts so bad...

When it hurts so bad, you feel the need to retaliate, you feel the need to "get back at 'em" BUT babe, you're only beating up yourself, and your self growth.

You've been listening to way too many lyrics that have lied to you.  Pain isn't love, and when it hurts so bad, you're supposed to LET IT GO.

XOXO

Only the strong survive

There's one thing that my friends and I always say to each other; "We don't break."

We endure all,
We overcome all,
We may cry,
We may be sad,
But,

WE
DON'T
BREAK.

But I see so many broken people, unable to cope with life's trials, unable to deal with the stresses of life... 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm bent all the way out of shape. 

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed at the energy I have to give out in order to help others get well.

Only the strong survive.

You need a strong mind.  Not the kind that can be swayed.  Not the kind that can be finessed by a slithering tongue.  Not the kind that, when depression strikes, allows you to sink deep.  You need a mind that it focused on your purpose, focused on your well being, and focused on loving YOU.

You need a strong spiritual life.  Not the kind where the only time you think about or talk to God is when you're posting something online.  Not the kind where you go to church because it's another place to gather socially. You need a strong desire to be healthy.  Not because it's popular, but, because you want to live your BEST life.  A strong desire to not put toxins in your mouth, your mind, your eyes, your body, and your ears.

Have you checked for kinks in your armor of God?  You know this is a battle. 
The enemy has been attacking you since you got here - and if you're not checking your armor, the enemy will slide right through.  Can you cut a tomato with a dull knife?  NO.  Why then, would you think that if you're not maintaining your armor that you would be safe?

Babe, every time you fall to your knees and pray, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you speak the truth in the midst of lies, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you fill your mind with positive thoughts, you're building your armor.
Babe, every time you refuse to gossip with "them", you're building your armor.

Don't stop now.